Neighbour support and disability: asking for help on your terms
One hand helps the other
By Tully Zygier · Originally published 20 January 2016
Original article
Tully Zygier has spent the last five years working in the disability sector focusing on advocacy and project management. She holds a double degree from the University Of Melbourne and is a member of the City of Melbourne Disability Advisory Committee. Tully has personal experience with disability, having developed a rare chronic illness Familial Dysautonomia. Tully is a passionate advocate for accessibility and human rights.
I am a single woman who lives alone in a funky apartment and loves life. I don’t have an Individual Support Package (ISP), the current state funding system for people with a disability, nor do I receive any support through my local council. I am fairly independent except for the support I receive from my family and friends.
Living on the first floor of an apartment building is great. My apartment is at the front of the building so I get to do a lot of people watching – one of my favorite pastimes. I like to imagine what their lives are like and what their secrets are. I like checking out their outfits and hairstyles. I enter their worlds and leave mine for a few minutes.
One of the best things about living on the first floor is that I’m not too far from the basement where I park my car. So, if there is a fire in the building, it’s not too hard for me to climb downstairs. Still, when people meet me, they look at my walking frame and jump to the conclusion that I wouldn’t be able to handle stairs. The truth is, I can manage them if there is railing or if people support me by holding my arm. What I can’t manage is lugging Scarlett (my walking frame) up and down the stairs along with me. If I were to do that, it would end badly!
Recently, the lift in our building has been breaking down. This can be quite distressing for me, as I hate spending all day inside watching daytime television and missing work (I know, I’m a sucker for work).
I like being as independent as I can be. I don’t like asking for help and I don’t like the attention that goes with it. However, being on my own and reluctant to stay home all day, I have no alternative but to reach out to my neighbours: the lovely retired middle-aged couple next to me, the groovy and striking 40-something year-old woman who lives with her foreign boyfriend on the fourth floor, and the young couple who live on the third. These are just some of the friendly people living in my building.
They have all been amazing. They send me texts letting me know they are around to help out when I need it. While I climb the stairs, clinging to the railing, they walk slowly behind me carrying Scarlett and watching me at the same time. At the end of my long trip they always let me know that they are available and to just give them a call.
[Clickability update, October 2026:
Do not copy a stair or lifting arrangement from this account. Assess access and assistance for the individual situation, including a suitable plan for lift failure or an emergency. The author is describing what she did, not prescribing a safe method for others.
]
While I wait for my ISP to be accepted or for the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) to finally be rolled out, I need to learn to accept help from my neighbours. And what a great bunch of people they are!
Clickability editorial update: October 2026
Agree the help you want and what remains a building issue
Tell a trusted neighbour what assistance would be useful, what you do not want and how you will ask. You can appreciate support without committing to a particular relationship or sharing private health details. If access repeatedly fails, record the problem and raise it with the responsible building contact.
Discuss mobility or emergency arrangements with appropriate professionals. Your ability to use stairs on one occasion does not mean every breakdown can be managed that way. Where you need funded assistance, check current support rules separately from the neighbour’s kindness.
Offer a specific task rather than deciding what is possible
Ask before assisting and listen to the person’s description of their own mobility. Do not assume a walking frame tells you what they can or cannot do. Keep your own limits clear and avoid improvising a transfer or evacuation technique.
Questions readers ask
Is the described stair method a recommendation?
No. It is the author’s individual historical experience.
Find assistance when informal arrangements are not enough
Describe the everyday support you need through Clickability. Compare support workers and discuss safe access and clear responsibilities.
