Parenting with serious illness: support for daily family life
Parenting with a Serious Illness
By Zest Care · Originally published 13 February 2019
Original article and dated context
Zest Care offers plan management, support coordination and direct supports. You can also find more on their blog here.
Being diagnosed with a serious illness has an added dimension of worry if you are a parent. While it can be daunting, we live in a community where there are many sources of support available. It’s also possible to devise some creative solutions so that you can still spend quality time with your children and ensure they are coping.
We’ve got some tips on how to approach parenting on a daily basis when you’re also dealing with a serious condition.
Have Communication Strategies in Place
A parent being diagnosed with a serious illness is an emotional process for the whole family. It can lead to children shutting down or feeling disempowered. Promoting openness is a good way of allaying fears and helping manage the situation. Also allow your children to feel anger or fear, which is normal.
Encourage your children to talk with you about their concerns. Depending on their age, it may be appropriate to involve them with discussions with your medical team. That way they know what is happening and don’t feel shut out or imagine the worst case scenario.
Find Creative Ways to Spend Time Together
Adjustments will need to be made to work around the physical limitations of your illness. This can be hard for parents who are used to being active with their children.
However, it can also be an opportunity to discover new things you enjoy doing with each other, such as playing board games or appreciating books together.
Assemble Your Children’s Support Team
Help your children build their own support team. This may be friends and family who they can call or talk to if you aren’t available. It’s important to have strategies in place for when emergencies occur. Who will pick them up from school or take them to band practice if you can’t make it?
It’s also a good idea to communicate the situation to their teachers and school, so they can step in and provide support if required.
Assemble Your Support Team
Having an outlet outside the family is important. Being able to share with people who are going through something similar can help you feel sane! There are plenty of support groups related to specific conditions available. If you’ve been diagnosed with cancer, this extensive list from Cancer Australia is a good place to start.
Whatever the nature of your condition, it’s important to remember that there is support available. Parenting with a serious illness can be challenging but it can also strengthen your family bond and appreciate your time together even more.
Zest Personalised Care is a registered provider of NDIS disability support services. Visit http://www.zestcare.net.au if you’d like any more information about how we work with individuals to achieve their goals.
Ask for help with the parts of family life that are hardest
Identify the tasks you want assistance with, such as getting ready in the morning or arranging transport, and the time you want to keep for your children. Discuss how support can follow your preferences without taking over your parenting role. Make a backup arrangement for days when the usual plan does not work.
For cancer-specific conversations, Cancer Council’s guide to talking with children offers age-appropriate information. For disability-related assistance, discuss support work in relation to your own needs and funding. Medical treatment and ordinary family costs are not automatically NDIS-funded.
Offer practical support without making assumptions
Ask the parent what would help and what information they want shared with children or school. Agree a specific task, the days you can do it and what happens if you cannot attend. Keeping a reliable arrangement can be more useful than offering broad advice about staying positive.
Check what the children already understand and give them room to ask questions. Cancer Council information is specifically about cancer, so adapt conversations with the family and treating team for another illness. The parent can choose when to talk and who is involved.
Questions readers ask
Does serious illness automatically qualify someone for the NDIS?
No. Access has separate requirements.
Must illness bring a family closer together?
No. Experiences vary, and practical or emotional support can be needed.
Find help that fits your family’s day
Tell Clickability what daily assistance you need and when. Compare reviewed and rated providers and discuss how support will respect your parenting choices.
