By Kati van der Hoeven-Lepistö · Originally published 6 April 2016
Original article
Rejection, one of the harsh parts of life. If there is one experience that all humans have faced, it would be the pain of rejection. A bitter pain that makes you feel like an outsider.
But as bad as it may feel, rejection plays an important role in our life for it builds character. It is a great teacher. It does not tell you who or what you should be, but instead lets you decide for yourself who or what you want to be. Rejection will stand between you and your dreams. All you need to do is to stare it in the eyes and keep going on.
It was not easy when I was working as a model in Milan and later in LA. Castings were always full of beautiful girls. It wasn’t easy. I was rejected on average nine times a day. That is the normal life of a model, “being rejected”. It either makes you or breaks you. In my case, each rejection just made me stronger. It made me realize that the only rejection I should fear is my own.
The only rejection you should fear is your own! Nobody can deny you your happiness, nobody except yourself.
There are dozens of quotes and sayings that relate to being rejected. Choose one that relates well to you or to the situation, put your best face on and try again with conviction. Always be certain that this time you will succeed.
[Clickability update, October 2026:
This is personal encouragement, not a guarantee. You can choose another approach, seek help or stop without failing a resilience test. Current healthdirect information discusses support and coping; barriers and discrimination also require practical responses.
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Have you ever thought, how does it feel like to be in the other end of things? To be the one, who has to do the rejecting? I have been hiring assistants for twenty years and let me tell you it feels as horrible to tell someone “thanks, but no thanks”, as it is to hear it! Especially when I like that person, and she would be so good for the job. So never think that rejection means you are not good enough. It may be just a matter of circumstances. Show determination and perseverance, and you will find your way.
I noticed that rejections many times just redirected me to something better. It did not happen immediately nor did I understand it when I was rejected but now looking back, I feel like each rejection was a blessing in disguise.
Nowadays I still keep being rejected! Maybe not nine times a day, but still nine times out of ten (except for when I am buying something. When you are handing out money, you are never rejected). Because of my condition, paralyzed, not being able to speak, I face much prejudice. People think, “what good can anyone be to a society like that?” (Do not be surprised, many people think like this, but I do not mind. It is not as if they do it on purpose or they do it to be mean. They just do not know how to face someone like me, someone who is a little different, and I understand that is frightening and makes you uncomfortable). Well, having a stroke and ending up in a paralyzed state was my destiny. The situation may seem helpless, but NO! It is just one more obstacle to get over, no biggie.
Decide what would help after this particular setback
You might want an explanation, feedback, company, a different opportunity or time away. Separate what you can change from another person’s prejudice or an inaccessible process. You do not have to reinterpret rejection as a blessing to move forward.
If the experience concerns work, JobAccess provides practical information about access and employment. Ask a trusted person to help with a specific next step rather than expecting yourself to feel positive first.
Address the exclusion rather than prescribing optimism
Listen to what happened and ask what response the person wants. Review whether your own forms, processes or assumptions created a barrier. Do not excuse exclusion as harmless ignorance or praise endurance instead of correcting practice. Rights standards provide a reference for respect and fair participation.
Questions readers ask
Does a positive attitude guarantee acceptance?
No. Individual circumstances and external barriers matter.
Find support that respects you through setbacks
Tell Clickability what assistance would be useful now. Compare providers and ask about access, communication and the choices important to you.
