Disenfranchised grief: recognising loss and accessible support

Good Grief! What is Disenfranchised Grief?

By Tanya Jordan · Originally published 6 September 2017

A person sitting alone looking towards the sea

Original article and dated context

Throughout our lives, we will all experience some form of loss and grief. Hopefully, we are provided with the support, love and understanding to help us during this difficult time. However, we don’t always adequately recognise the grief felt by different groups.

This includes the grief felt by Indigenous and Torres Strait Islander Communities, parents experiencing perinatal loss, women who have had an abortion, pet owners whose pets have recently died, and those whose relationships aren’t formally recognised. This is also true for children, the elderly, and people with intellectual and physical disabilities.

Indeed, when people who have intellectual of physical difficulties experience some form of lose and grief, their grief is often ignored. This usually takes place when individuals who have some form of disability experience estrangement or alienation from family members and/or groups. It can also include the subsequent denial of access to the support of their own family/friend network and to the family/friend network of the deceased.

There have also been situations whereby the griever has been identified as not being ‘socially proficient’ in being able to grieve. Consequently, there is little or no social recognition for these individuals to mourn the deceased (Reynolds, 2002).

There have been studies that have shown that those who have an intellectual or physical disability do understand the concept of death and also experience grief. These reactions may not be recognised by others due to the person being developmentally challenged and consequently family members tend to ignore these individuals’ need to grieve (Despelder and Strickland, 1995).

[Clickability update, September 2026: This historical terminology should not define how a person is treated today. Do not assume someone cannot grieve because of disability or how they communicate. Ask what the loss means to them and make information accessible. Read the explanation of unrecognised grief.]

But it _is _something we should recognise and reflect on – because people experience disenfranchised grief too often.

Please note that this blog is an edited version. If you would like to view the unedited version please click here.

Tanya Jordan

Tanya is an experienced Forensic Social Worker and an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker with T n J’s Consulting and Support Services. Special acknowledgement and gratitude to Mrs. Melanie Hill Lane of the Yorta Yorta Tribe for supporting the writing of this blog.

Clickability editorial update: September 2026

What participants can ask for when others overlook a loss

Tell a trusted person how you want the loss acknowledged, if you wish to talk about it. You might want company, a way to remember someone, accessible information or quiet time rather than the response someone else expects.

If grief is affecting everyday life, a GP or appropriate counsellor can help you discuss support. Healthdirect lists grief-support pathways. A clinical service and disability support may have different funding arrangements.

How families can include the person in mourning and support

Offer information in the person’s communication style and ask whether they want to join a ritual, keep a memento or have someone stay with them. Give permission to decline; there is no single correct visible response.

Notice unanswered questions and changes in daily life without imposing a deadline to recover. Ask about professional help when needed and keep the person involved in the choice.

Questions readers ask

Does grief only count after a death?

No. Grief can follow other significant losses or changes, and may be overlooked when others do not recognise the loss. Official guidance

Does this article confirm counselling will be paid by the NDIS?

No. Check the clinical or community pathway and the particular support and plan rules separately. Official guidance

Find disability support that listens to what you need

If you also need help with disability-related daily support, describe your needs through Clickability. Compare profiles and reviews and ask how communication and personal preferences are respected.

Find a provider who fits my support needs · Browse the provider directory