Choosing a provider as a family: communication and boundaries
What to Consider When Choosing a Service Provider: a Guide for Families
By Disability Services Commissioner · Originally published 5 October 2016
How families can agree a useful role without taking over
Ask the participant what they want you involved in and what they want to handle privately. Make that distinction clear to the provider: you might help organise appointments while the person speaks directly about their preferences. The original sister’s account shows why these boundaries matter.
Agree which changes you need to hear about, who shares them and how consent will be recorded. If you notice a concern, describe what happened and what needs to change rather than assuming everyone wants the same solution.
Original article and dated context
Open and honest communication between service providers and service users and their families is essential to creating a relationship that promotes the best possible outcomes and experiences. So what questions should you ask yourself when you and your family are choosing a service provider?
When the relationship with the service provider is working well, what will it look and feel like?
What would be some of the signs that the relationship is not working well?
Exploring these ideas further, families may also want to consider questions such as:
How involved do you want to be with the service provider, and does the provider know your wishes?
‘My sister wanted to be treated as an adult in her home without my involvement. The service provider agreed to a communication strategy that meant I could be kept informed, but allowed my sister her independence.’ Sister of an adult in a group home.
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<li>How frequently do you want to receive communication, and about what issues?</li>
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‘I was worried that I was being overcharged. It turned out that the rates had changed, and this had not been communicated. My service provider now sends me full financial statements and notes explaining rate changes.’ Adult using a disability service.
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<li>What is the service provider’s policy and approach to working with families, and does it fit with your expectations?</li>
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‘My daughter didn’t feel safe in her home because of another resident. We worked with the service provider to identify somewhere else for my daughter to live where she had friends nearby and was closer to her day service.’ Parent of an adult living in a group home.
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<li>Does the service provider invite family members to assist in developing, implementing and reviewing information, policies and procedures developed by the organisation?</li>
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‘When we develop documentation, we always consult the audience to ensure it truly is easy to read and contains all the appropriate information.’ Service Provider.
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<li>Do you think you will feel welcome and included in the provision of support and assistance for your family member?</li>
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‘As his family, we want to be recognised as one of the key pillars supporting our son’s life.’ Parent of an adult living in a group home.
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<li>What opportunities exist to be involved in the organisation more generally?</li>
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‘My son worked with his service provider to resolve an issue he had with transport. Afterwards, they offered him a regular column in their newsletter so that he could champion the voice of other people in the service.’ Parent of an adult using a day service.
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<li>What is the service provider’s approach to person centred planning and will you have the opportunity to be involved in the development of a plan for your family member?</li>
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‘The service provider didn’t understand my daughter’s support needs when we first joined the service. They should have sought more information to develop an appropriate support plan for her.’ Parent of an adult using a day service.
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<li>Do you think you would feel comfortable raising and discussing any issues or differences in views that may arise between you and the service provider?</li>
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‘When I tried to share my knowledge and understanding of my son and what I felt was important for him, I often felt dismissed.’ Parent of an adult living in a group home.
These are just a few of the many questions you would be considering when trying to decide on a service provider for yourself or a family member.
Families, friends and other natural supports play an important part in people’s lives and should work with service providers to support wellbeing and happiness for people with a disability.
_This article was written by the Disability Services Commissioner (DSC), an independent voice promoting rights and resolving complaints about Victorian disability services. For more information about the DSC including making a complaint or accessing resources, visit www.odsc.vic.gov.au. _Case studies are made up of de-identified issues people have brought to us. More detailed advice on service providers working with families can be found in our ‘Occasional Paper No.2: Learning from complaints’.
[Clickability update, September 2026: The Victorian DSC now directs NDIS-funded service complaints to the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. Other Victorian services and worker concerns have different routes. Check the current referral information.]
Clickability editorial update: September 2026
What providers should clarify with the participant and family
Do not treat the family as a single decision-maker. Ask the participant who they want involved and how information should be shared. Set a clear contact point for practical questions and explain how charges or support changes will be communicated.
Check whether the person can use the documents and contact methods you provide. Record agreed roles so a staff change does not undo the arrangement. The rights and responsibilities standards cover choice, privacy and informed decision-making for registered providers.
Are the case examples newly created for this refresh?
No. They are the original contributor’s de-identified examples, preserved as attributed source material.
Is the Victorian DSC the complaint body for all NDIS services?
No. Its current referral page directs NDIS-funded service complaints to the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. Check the route for the service concerned. Official guidance
Find support that works with your family’s agreed role
Describe the participant’s support and communication needs in a Clickability request. Read provider reviews as you prepare a conversation about involvement and privacy.
